Saying Goodbye to Grandma Lucas

In April, Great Grandma Lucas celebrated her 94th birthday. She celebrated in style, surrounded by her loving sons and daughter-in-law. We also got the honor to Skype with her on her birthday and let her know how much we love her. Weeks later we received word that she had stopped eating and her health was declining quickly. These were difficult weeks, especially with the distance between us, but Sarah got the opportunity to have several conversations to make sure that her grandmother knew what a special place she held in Sarah's heart. On May 7, we learned that Grandma Lucas had passed away.  We quickly made plans to fly out for the funeral.

Some of Sarah's greatest memories with her grandmother are from hanging out together in Monterey, so it was only fitting that we spent some time there. We were able to visit Cannery Row, a place that looks much different than it did during the years when Grandma Lucas worked in one of the canneries. We even drove to a spot along the coast that Sarah and Grandma Lucas used to sit and watch the ocean. It was so important to all of us not only to be with family but also to relive the memories that came flooding back every time we thought about her. It is an understatement to say she lived a full life!

The funeral brought family together from all over. In fact, there were well over 150 people who gathered to share their love and appreciation for a woman who brought so much joy to others. A special treat was that John's parents flew out because they wanted to be a part of the celebration of Grandma Lucas's life and to support Sarah. As it happens this also became the first time Callie and Reese had all four of their grandparents together. It was the ultimate photo opportunity.

Sarah wanted to make sure she took the time to express how much her relationship with Grandma Lucas shaped her life.  Following are the words she shared with all of those gathered to honor her grandmother.  If you didn't have the good fortune of knowing her, these words will help you understand what a wonderful woman she was:

"I think everyone in this room would agree with me that my grandma cherished family. She always seemed to be visiting someone, sending someone a card, or talking on the phone to catch up with a family member. To me she was the source of all information. I can remember calling her and having her give me an update on who was doing what. I loved feeling so connected to everyone. I guess in a way she was my “facebook” before “facebook” was a thing.

When I was in elementary school, I remember going with my grandma on her visits. We jumped into her big beige and brown car. I think it was an Impala, but I am not sure. I just knew it was ugly! It had big bench seat. I popped in the passenger side. My grandma would always want me to sit in the middle so that I could be really close to her. We would hit Salinas and visit various people like Millie Rose and Helen Caughta (?). I am not totally sure I was related to all of these people, but regardless, they were family. To my grandma no one was a stranger, just someone she hadn’t met yet. And during the visiting tours we saw a lot of family and met lots of strangers.   

My Grandma simply had a lot of love to share...Every greeting and goodbye involved a hug. And I am not talking about a small, courteous hug; I am talking about a big, nuzzle-in Portuguese hug. When I was in college my gymnastics team had a meet in the Bay Area and my Grandma and Grandpa offered to have all 15 of us over for pizza as we travelled north. And when we all got there, she had her arms opened wide to welcome each one of us with a big hug. For some of my teammates this was their first Grandma Lucas experience and they weren’t sure what to think, but by the time we left they all got in line to give her a big hug because they wanted a part of the love she shared so easily. 

After I married my husband John, I would call to say hi and give her an update on what we were up to in Kentucky. She would always end our calls by saying, “give John and the girls a big hug.” Then she would say, “make sure you squeeze them hard, well not too hard.” But that was my Grandma and I will definitely miss her hugs!

Perhaps even more than her hugs I will miss her sense of adventure and her pursuit of a good time.  It didn’t matter what the adventure was, she was more than ready to take part!  As long as I can remember my family has had sizeable family reunions. These reunions are filled with laughter and back in the day my grandma led the fun with her sisters, sisters-in-law, and brothers-in-law. One year when I was in high school, I arrived at the reunion to find my grandma with a large rug burn on her forehead. When I inquired, what happened, she simply said, “I had too many Fuzzy Navels and fell down in the Winnebago.”  

And it wasn’t just back in the day.  For her 80^th birthday, Ronnie and Teri coordinated a weekend gateway to Las Vegas. This was perfect since my grandma loved gambling and having a good time. We had a great time! In fact, Haley and I couldn’t get my grandma off the dance floor. And if memory serves me right, we had to tell her that the club was closing just so that we all could go to bed.  Her zest for a good time never stopped. This past Thanksgiving when we pulled out the game Pie Face, grandma was more than willing to take a turn. So for folks that aren’t familiar with Pie Face this is a game that is like playing Russian roulette with whip cream. This is a game that some of her great grandchildren were quick to pass on. But not grandma - she was all in. And we have pictures to prove it!

The visits, the hugs, the fun – all of it revolved around the simple fact that she loved people! She loved being with you. It didn’t matter if it was an intimate setting or a large scale social gathering. Whenever you were with her she was fully present. She loved human connection. And what would exhaust most people energized her.  She had an amazing ability to make you feel good about yourself! It was like she was your personal cheerleader. When I competed in gymnastics, no matter what happened she didn’t understand why I didn’t get a 10. Although her assessment was far from the truth, it was awesome to have someone unconditionally on your side.  Knowing how much she especially loved the people in this room, I am going to be bold and ask you all a question. Raise your hand if my grandma told you or you “just knew” that YOU were her favorite. (pause) Looks about right. We all gave her such a hard time about this, but I truly think we all were her favorites.

I    In closing, I want to leave you with the fact that my grandma loved the ocean. She appreciated and admired the power contained within. I remember countless trips to the beach where we would just sit and watch the waves roll in. So the next time you have the opportunity to see the ocean, take a minute to cherish your family, share your love, and live in the moment. And know that you are her favorite!"

The one bright light with any time you say goodbye to a loved one is the sight of young children and the hope and joy for the future their energy brings.  In this instance it was the sight of all the great grandchildren - Callie, Reese, Skyler, Harper, Brady, Chase, and Sadie playing in the waves and gathering seaweed. Their giggles and smiles were exactly what our souls needed.

Since all of the immediate family stayed in the Monterey area we were able to spend a lot of time together and cherished family, which is just how Grandma Lucas would have like it.  Although it was a difficult couple of days, it was wonderful to be with family and know that Grandma Lucas is finally reunited with her true love Joe after all these years.  And in the end, it was truly a celebration of a full life that was lived well and full of joy.  Few people could have packed more hugs and love into 94 years.